A Letter to Target About the Smell of its Cleanser
by Dave Gauer
December 18, 2010
Target Corporation
1000 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, MN 88403
Dear Target,
I am writing to report an issue I have with one of your products. The product in question is the "up & up deep cleanser" face wash (pictured). My issue is not with the functionality of the cleanser. As far as I know, it cleans my face just fine. The problem is the smell.
My first use of the cleanser was a bit of shock. As soon as I rubbed a dollop of it on my face, I was completely overpowered by the stench. It was the scent of flowers, but in a dense, mace-like strength. As soon as it was near my nose, I was coughing and my eyes were watering. Rinsing it off gave instant relief, and I was free of the cloying odor.
I must mention that I do not typically suffer from an exaggerated sensitivity to perfumes or other odors. In fact, my sense of smell is not particularly good. I had a short period of disbelief. Since the scent did not linger in the room, I soon found myself wondering if it had really happened. I thought perhaps I had merely suffered a temporary olfactory hallucination.
I tried it again in the shower later. Soon I was sputtering and trying to breathe through my mouth. Naked and alone, with your product all over my face, I suffered a deep sense that my life had taken a turn for the worse. As before, rinsing the cleanser away gave me instant relief from the stink and I felt as if the world had suddenly become a better, brighter place.
Perhaps this experience of catharsis is what your product engineers had in mind, but I think this should be labeled clearly on your bottle. I see that the last item on the Ingredients list is "Fragrance" which is a wholly inadequate word to describe the exhuming power of the smell. I humbly suggest the following alteration to the text on the front label:
Helps remove dirt, oil and makeup; leaves skin clean with no residue; purifies your mind with a searing blast of lavender and rinses away with all of your earthly sins; oil free.
On the off chance that the smell is stronger than intended or a mistake altogether, here is what I believe might be the batch number, which I found printed on the bottom of the bottle: 9352290A.
Sincerely,
David Gauer